How to Avoid Killing a Romance — or a Business

Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that sooner or later even like-minded partners will face a problem they just don’t want to deal with. Instead of going away — as they hope it will — the issue becomes the elephant in the room. The same thing happens in companies. There are certain subjects that are off-limits, discussed in whispers behind closed doors. These are the “unspeakables” – the difficult subjects that everyone acknowledges but that no one is willing to bring up.

The problem is that these unspeakables are often the most challenging problems a company faces. They need to be expressed out loud, not treated as taboos. Yet people are often so sure they’ll be ignored if they tell the truth that they don’t even try. Some fear they will be ostracized or even fired. Others become consumed with pent-up anger.

When a company creates an environment in which employees feel they cannot tell the truth, the ultimate result is that talented people leave, innovative ideas are stifled, products remain stagnant and the bottom line suffers.

I have seen these results first-hand numerous times in my consulting work. Companies falter because conversations that should be happening publicly are occurring behind closed doors. Employees know there’s a defect in the product, but they say nothing. The people on the line understand how to improve a slow, inefficient production process, but they say nothing. These workers have seen colleagues ostracized for challenging their supervisors, so they say nothing.

If you don’t give your workforce a chance to speak honestly, people will voice their concerns out of earshot. They will express themselves at “meetings after the meeting” instead of at the meeting itself. They will badmouth the company on Facebook or Twitter. Worse, the people talking about the company’s most serious problems have no authority to make decisions or change course. These conversations need to happen with the people who can do something about it.

As a leader, you can take a number of actions to bring the conversations out in the open. By eliciting what’s on people’s minds through confidential surveys, focus groups, individual interviews or company-wide meetings, you will begin to hear difficult truths. When you publicly acknowledge that you’ve gotten the message — “you think I make too much money,” “you say you want input but then you ignore it” — you give permission for people to speak up.

I recall one company-wide meeting when a manager stood up and said that he had been unable to persuade a senior leader – whom he named – to meet with Asian government officials and discuss an important deal. Unlike their counterparts at competing companies, he said, his leaders “couldn’t be bothered.” He felt like he had crossed the line into forbidden territory, and called his wife to tell her he was probably going to lose his job.

Instead, those leaders gave him a corporate award for having the courage to speak up, and his co-workers gave him a standing ovation. By honoring him publicly, the company sent a powerful message that employees could “speaking the unspeakable.”

To learn more, please contact Susan Lucia Annunzio at the Center for High Performance.